sink slow darling

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:37:06 GMT

i'm alive.

promise.

i'll try to update in full detail in a bit.

fingers crossed.

EPIPHANY

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:18:25 GMT

I have this theory.

Call me a mother-fucking genius.

So... Essentially it is:

The more arched your eyebrow is, the more inclined people think you are a bitch and the more they don't want to be your friend. The more rounded your eyebrows are (I'm not talking like a parenthesis shape that you drew on your face), the more inclined people think you're friendly and they want to get closer to you.

Of course there are always exceptions. I mean you can have a bitchy mouth that can override your 'friendly' eyebrows or something. But generally, I find my eyebrow theory to be the rule of thumb.

The interesting thing I noted was that people strive to have the most arched eyebrow and go to great painful lengths to get it (a la Megan Fox). Does that mean we just want people to bugger off without saying a word now?

Discuss.

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:23:53 GMT

i have nothing more to say then READ THIS NOW.

i am dying that the book and the author are so new that there isn't ONE LJ community out there on this. i am this close to doing one.

really.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:22:38 GMT

i have become a compulsive buyer.

please cut my credit cards.

:3

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:58:35 GMT

so i'm getting into these guilty pleasure shows all of a sudden.

90210, The Hills, and The City.

I don't know how it happened but at least I can count them with only ONE hand.

I consider this stalled progress.

Anyone watch any of these shows? If so -- GUSH! ineedsomeonetotalkaboutwiththem.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:55:11 GMT

so i was introduced to this korean song by one of my asian friends over the summer. the beat was sick so i downloaded it. it randomly came on my shuffle the other day and it once again sent a barrage of questions through my head. mainly:

what the hell is the song about?

using my divine research skills (i.e. ~GOOGLE~), i unlocked korean madness.

turns out the song was banned and even though i think it's too tame to deserve that, i do think i would be uncomfortable watching this in front of my dad. like, i need a porn screen on my computer if i were to play this in a public family area.

take a look for yourself (i posted a version with english subs):

(abracadabra - brown-eyed girls)

of course, during my inspired investigation, i stumbled upon this parody as well. now, idk if this parody is deep enough to criticize women in power and being misogynistic, but it's funny whichever way you look at it:

haha. i can't deny that the original video is fucking fierce. if only i can pull off a bowl-cut hir-do like that and gyrate my hips like i'm a sloth and still be attractive.

oh the stuff i esteem to be...

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:05:07 GMT

It's going to be my mission to compile a list of FABULOUS FIERCE DANCE/R&B 90s hits.

Do you know what i am talking about? this was like the golden era for that kind of music and i can't believe i took it for granted. i shall recover the treasure songs and put them in my vault.

good tunes like these, bb:

(don't let go - en vogue)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNbRMG-4wAI
(another night - the real mccoy)

(please don't go - no mercy)

(be my lover - la bouche)

which ones do you guys recommend?

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 01:18:44 GMT

So what is up with all these books being turned into movies?

i know, i know, this isn't a novel thing (ha ha) but it seems to be getting out of hand as of late, no? What brought this on was finding out that Beastly is going to be made into a movie.

that doesn't shock me... what does is that vanessa hudgens is being cast as the "belle" of the movie. i don't mean that quotation to imply that bbv is of the polarizing end of the beauty spectrum but that the character that is the love interest of The Beast is described as plain, red-headed, with green eyes, and crooked teeth.

with this in mind, let's look at who they cast as Linda again:

this convinces me that i can land a job as a casting agent if some fool that casts bbv as a plain redhead can.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:06:57 GMT

so i must be the only one that doesn't give a damn that such "awesome" shows like arrested development, firefly, pushing daisies, reno 911 etc got canned.

probably because i never gave a shit about them in the first place. you want to know why they couldn't survive more than a nanosecond in the media world? because of people like me.

i like to consider myself to like ~intellectual~ humor that gets my panties in a twist (in a good way) and i had such high expectations for all of these but i just couldn't get into them. i mean, i got into twilight for goddsakes! how am i a snob?

but i digress.

today was my last day as a TARGET employee. I got my last paycheck and the rest of my life spent there in the form of cold hard cash. i had twenties and ones that added up to over two-hundred dollars in a white envelope. yes, i felt a bit like a hooker. a good one at it.

i'll be starting at California Pizza Kitchen now. first as a pantry chef... but that's only for a month (seriously) so i can learn the ~menu~ and then i'll become a server.... is that weird?

yes.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:36:49 GMT

I don't get the hype about twitter.

And I am actually posting at Portkey.org. What, what? Join me!

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:18:14 GMT

I am predictably going through a HP phase that seems to be unrequited.

It's like I am extremely rusty at shipping H/Hr and I don't remember how to FANGIRL as well anymore. Like... where is that site that made fun of HBP/H/G? The one with the collection of horribly good quotes like the maggot scene? Classic, I hope it isn't gone.

Also, I'm looking for fic but there isn't any that draw me in like they used to. Actually, no book has done that lately either. am i going through the motions? Possibly.

As for my reaction towards HBP: the movie? I enjoyed it way better than the book. Probably because they muted Ginny's Mary-Sueness and tried so hard to not make their relationship be the exact replica of the book. For example, did they even go out in the movie? It was sans-Monster-In-The-Chest and Big Kiss in the Common Room... where those scenes just in my mind, did I imagine they happened in the book?

It was so long ago...

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:17:13 GMT

what the fuck have i gotten myself into?

ETA: initially this was about my internship at a private law firm that deals with criminal (penal) law but now it's how i bought miley cyrus' autobiography.

this is what happens when it's 1 am and I am writing my last fucking essay.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:19:35 GMT

i want to read miley cyrus' autobiography.

there. i said it.

FIC: CLOSER

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:12:21 GMT

I wrote this little drabble after being ~inspired~ by the Taylor Swift video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfdxeymNwjU&feature=player_embedded

It came out totally unrelated. But the theme is teenagers, their awkwardness, and trying to initiate something between someone they've had their eye on. I call this original piece:

Title: Closer
Author: idealfacade
Summary: As soon as she opens his mouth he's set down this spiral of awkward teenage wasteland.

Summer licks at her skin and she has her tendrils wave about her face at the random breezes. See, the sun is setting and it casts this yellow hue that nips at her toes and she’s so unaware he’s standing a few feet away from her.

He comes closer, just a little bit, because he doesn’t care to disturb whatever ambiance she has set out tonight. Her skirt graces her inner thighs and it reminds him of that term his mom kept talking about. Bohemian, was it?

Either way, she’s there and he’s here and maybe that’s all that matters.

She stirs a little and looks back. There’s no vacant gaze here like the other times she would see past him but instead there’s this brightness he can’t displace. He starts breathing a little faster, and, as if she knows, a smirk tugs at her lips.

“What brings you here?” she murmurs.

All these things occur to him at once. A million little phrases that can get him in trouble, that can be misconstrued, and his tongue bids him to say something clever but it falls short. He’s travelling deeper and deeper, with each visit, to coming to an indescribable end with her.

“You.”

It’s a simple reply and she doesn’t pretend to act surprised. She merely quirks her head to the side and licks her bottom lip ever-so slightly. “How long have you been debating on that answer?”

He slips out a chuckle. “There was never any internal monologue about this.” A blatant lie.

His reply causes her to rise. Her bare feet tickle the crab grass and he can only make out chipped nail polish on her toes. Her legs are smooth and pale and it almost distracts him from her mouth.

“You’re going to act like you haven’t been coming here for a while? Like you haven’t been mustering up the courage to talk to me?” She playfully wags her finger at him, mock-scolding. “And you were off to such an honest start.”

“If you are so sure on this then why ask?”

Her teeth appear to be bucktooth when she smiles. “I thought it would be rude if I didn’t.”

He can make out a few freckles on the bridge of her nose with this lack of distance she is starting to impose. She crinkles her nose at him, almost as if she was irritated by his determined inspection.

“See, manners are something you appear to lack. All you’ve done these past few minutes is cut me short replies and stare so fixedly. Didn’t your mother teach you any better?” She quips.

He can’t resist her invitation. “My mother is dead.”

To her credit she only stands still and blinks twice at his response. He only shuffles his feet around. “Ok, so that was a bad joke…”

“Not very funny.”

“I don’t even deserve a sentence?” he tries.

“I only reward that caliber of semantics to those that deserve it.”

He then starts that cycle of nervous antics. Those gestures he can’t help deter when he truly stuck his foot in his mouth. Speaking of which, he never got that saying… But it doesn’t matter, what does is the fact that he’s still at this spot, ruining whatever was suppose to take place right now. Like a decent conversation to start.

She looks to her side and he can’t tell if she has the smirk tugging at her lips still. He’s trying to wrestle at whatever straws he has left and can’t focus on anything except her legs and her itching feet.

“Maybe we should start all over?” he suggests weakly.

Her fingers loosen their hold on her wayward skirt and they inch upon his chin. She grabs it and turns his face to look up at her.

“Maybe it shouldn’t begin with a question.”

Real Housewives of NYC

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:54:00 GMT

Hi, my name is Sandra and I'm addicted to Bravo.

I am honestly this close to buying that Real Housewives merchandise only because Bravo has brainwashed me into watching all of its shows. This season's ticket? The Real Housewives of New York City.

Can we just have a general bitchfest about it?

I looooooooooooooooathe Kelley. Everytime she's on I get like this second-hand embarrassment spasm along my spine. If you thought Sarah Jessica Parker looked like a horse, well Kelley clearly takes that one HANDS-DOWN.

What amuses me is that my favorite though-wonky-michael-jacksony-eyed Bethenny hates this skank too. It just fuels my inner bitch when I see them at it and I can't wait for the next episode in which the gloves are off.

Also, like the OC Housewife Tamra says:

I just don't understand Kelly. She is a model that hates trying on clothes? She is a journalist that can't seem to enunciate? She is a very private person that signs on to a reality show? Something here is not adding up.

PS: I must be part of the very few that like when Alex&Simon are on the show. Probably because I can't get over how weird they are...

PPS: OMG, THIS JUST MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH KELLEY OUT. SHE MAKES BETHENNY WAIT 30 MIN JUST TO TELL HER THAT THEY AREN'T FRIENDS. WTF BITCH!

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/videos/kelly-and-bethenny-have-it-out

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:52:48 GMT

GOSH.

i am honestly puzzled as to how i was ever attracted to this speciman on the superficial, physical side.

i remember people telling me that i would ~regret~ loving nsync and all that shit. but i am 19, going on 20, and i have no shame in declaring my unfaltering loyalty to them.

so it is now bemusing that i feel second-hand embarrassment every time i come across le hobbit of horrible scruff: D-Rad.

how, i ask, how did my heart ever pulse for you?

ETA: also, how is it that you can still attract women even after your "hawt" peak of Prisoner of Azkaban? HOW? is it denial or have my standards raised?

at least you provide the lulz and a brief reprieve from the ~federalist papers~. uhg.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:14:05 GMT

ok, i confess that i am currently digging this song by taylor swift:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxdrgYy_SE8

but as i keep listening, i'm convinced taylor swift does not dig literature or is getting a very poor grade as far as that goes.

for those unfamiliar, she basically compares herself and her love interest to, surprise of surprises, ~romeo and juliet~.

except girl grew up in the "choose your own adventure" generation that the conclusion of the song is that romeo and juliet are getting married and it's happily ever after. which is contrary to the original source because how can you confuse a tragedy with happy endings?

well, i gave tay swift the benefit of the doubt, thinking, maybe her song cuts off before the suicides... BUT! there was this:

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter

so you're an adultress??? WTF! I CAN'T EVEN JUSTIFY HER!

juliet, an italian, renaissance teen =/= woman in puritan massachusetts

aiiiii. at least she's promoting reading?

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:15:40 GMT

stole this from pseudovirus. let's see how i do...

01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom. (WTFFF??? HOW IS THAT NOT ~INNOCENT~ UNLESS YOU DID #5 AFTERWARDS?)
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store. (??? WHO WROTE THIS?)
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 88% (LOL, OFF TO A FANTASTIC START, EH?)

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray. ('CAUSE THAT'S SO BAD ASS)
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82%

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Made beans. (WELL, I AM MEXICAN...)
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 78%

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours. (I AM CONVINCED THIS QUESTION IS GEARED TO PEOPLE THAT WOULD HAVE A 95% ~INNOCENCE~ BY THIS POINT)
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die. (IT WAS A BUNNY, SADDEST THING. :[)

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 72%

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital. (THEY DROPPED ME OFF AT MYHOUSE FIRST THOUGH. :/)
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy . (HOW IS THAT RELEVANT?)
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 68%

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 61%

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush .
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 56% (OH SHIT...)

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients. (ISN'T THIS SUPPOSE TO BE GOOD?)
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore . (HAVE YOU BEEN TO A HIGHSCHOOL DANCE?)

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 50%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

Ending percentage: 45% (I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE THIS...)

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:20:16 GMT

Did anyone watch the Duggar Wedding?

Ok, what the fuck was that shit? "Sex is like LEGOS!!!"

Do you see what's wrong there? He didn't specify what version of legos it was... the harry potter one or dinosaurs or...

Point is, why the fuck am I having such a tough time with my multiculturalism essay? How hard can it be? It's so fucking broad!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

This is me procrastinating. Badly.

In this familiar process, I watched the new season of Skins. And Naomi reminds me of a lizard. Like I get she is supposed to be bad-ass, but they could have gotten someone less pointy? Yeah, i know I'm being ~shallow~ and shit but i never claimed to be otherwise.

And Cook, can anyone understand what the hell he said? I always criticized channels having subtitles on people with Scottish accents, but goddam if that actor didn't speak as if his mouth wasn't covered with tar. Which is hard to imagine because he looks toothless... speaking of which, how the hell am i supposed to buy the whole he's the alpha-male-be-attracted-to-him if he appears like a regular bum with connections?

These questions I ponder.

hiiiiiiiiii.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:23:51 GMT

I know, I know.

There is no need to slaughter me with verbal abuse and accusations of neglect. I know I'm at fault for it. And I'm not one to point fingers or anything but it was my mom's fault.

In an astonishing other shiesty move from my human creator, she decided to haggle prices for out modern comforts (phone, tv, internet) and she made our family switch companies. In this process I was deprived internet for a week straight and it was agonizing, you guys.

Nevermind that I am behind my homework, but I am behind all the gossip on OHNOTHEYDIDNT. How can you guys forgive me? How can I forgive myself???

This is the question of the day, folks.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:17:42 GMT

i am about to shit a brick of total AGGRAVATION over this as-of-now nonexistent paper.

i swear i'll make a real post sometime soon, but this is the only free time i've had since i'm working slave hours at target (i now see red EVERYWHERE) and i'm either there or in my prison of choice -- school (UCSD).

and you know what's sad? my free hours now consist of doing homework. this is supposed to be my relaxing time. do you see the problem???

and now JSTOR, the lovely site i owe my life and research papers on, is completely FAILING ME.

OMG, WHYYYYYYYYYYY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW??? :((

i refuse to believe there is not one single article focused on Hernan Cortes' alliances with other native peoples to form an anti-aztec coalition.

i know it happened, i just need proof! i need sources. so where the fuck are you!!!

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:20:34 GMT

so i guess i played right into the marketer's hands because i am watching the 90210 spinoff that bears the same name and lo and behold I actually like it.

now, it bears a whole lot of resemblance to the contemporary Gossip Girl but I think the West Coast has the better show. maybe because it doesn't have kristen bell's obnoxious voiceover of "you know you love me xoxo gossip girl" (honestly, it made me cringe and feel embarrassed that bell went from veronica mars to that) and instead has the sorta goth girl doing the blog.

the main character has a scary looking anorexic body but i like her a whole lot better than blake lively's consistent cardboard performance.

if 90210 had leighton than it'd be full of win.

plus, i am a complete sucker for those fandoms that contain their past characters and they still have drama from their ~past~ though they have apparently "moved on." bwhahahaaa.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:28:30 GMT

i have a marilyn monroe-like pimple on my upper lip. let me tell you that it is a lurker and is waging a convenient war inside the fat that is my upper lip. stop the hurting! i will get enough of it tomorrow when i take my two finals of which i am inadequately prepared (but aren't i always).

anyway, today i made an acute observation. if i were to compare my 19th year so far to any literary source it'd be HP and the Order of the Phoenix. yeah, i know. this is duly emphasized by the fact that i constantly type in all caps in my text messages only because T9 can suck on saggy balls.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:39:16 GMT

i assume all of you have seen the twilight first completed scene. hence, my un-cut comments.

the movie looks to be complete shit. there, i don't think i can summarize it any better. kstew has the emotions of a ten year-old cardboard box. actually, i care not to insult the box.

and the villian? i find myself more scared of my dirty hamper than that (speaking of that... must do chores).

i feel... nothing. but i actually am surprised to say that i did have SOME expectations for the movie and they are dashed. of course that won't stop me from being there, in line, during the midnight release. why? because smeyer owns my wallet.

also, i am thinking of watching the mtv awards. i was planning for this to be The Big Thing for today because my mom refuses to let me out of my cage/house. but i made a deal with myself that i'll finish revising my CRAP essay and read all my material for this one class before the allotted time.

so, i was on a roll, doing this like five hours ago and as a reward for the good work, i decided to take a break. a break that has lasted five hours. clearly, i am way behind. shitshitshit. why does this always happen?

at least i have smirnoff.

sandra.hp@gmail.com — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:56:37 GMT

my boyfriend volunteered himself to read twilight and watch the movie with me when it comes out.

question: should i be concerned?