idealfacade

I have this theory.

Call me a mother-fucking genius.

So... Essentially it is:

The more arched your eyebrow is, the more inclined people think you are a bitch and the more they don't want to be your friend. The more rounded your eyebrows are (I'm not talking like a parenthesis shape that you drew on your face), the more inclined people think you're friendly and they want to get closer to you.

Of course there are always exceptions. I mean you can have a bitchy mouth that can override your 'friendly' eyebrows or something. But generally, I find my eyebrow theory to be the rule of thumb.

The interesting thing I noted was that people strive to have the most arched eyebrow and go to great painful lengths to get it (a la Megan Fox). Does that mean we just want people to bugger off without saying a word now?

Discuss.

i have nothing more to say then READ THIS NOW.

i am dying that the book and the author are so new that there isn't ONE LJ community out there on this. i am this close to doing one.

really.

i have become a compulsive buyer.

please cut my credit cards.

:3

so i'm getting into these guilty pleasure shows all of a sudden.

90210, The Hills, and The City.

I don't know how it happened but at least I can count them with only ONE hand.

I consider this stalled progress.

Anyone watch any of these shows? If so -- GUSH! ineedsomeonetotalkaboutwiththem.

so i was introduced to this korean song by one of my asian friends over the summer. the beat was sick so i downloaded it. it randomly came on my shuffle the other day and it once again sent a barrage of questions through my head. mainly:

what the hell is the song about?

using my divine research skills (i.e. ~GOOGLE~), i unlocked korean madness.

turns out the song was banned and even though i think it's too tame to deserve that, i do think i would be uncomfortable watching this in front of my dad. like, i need a porn screen on my computer if i were to play this in a public family area.

take a look for yourself (i posted a version with english subs):


(abracadabra - brown-eyed girls)

of course, during my inspired investigation, i stumbled upon this parody as well. now, idk if this parody is deep enough to criticize women in power and being misogynistic, but it's funny whichever way you look at it:



haha. i can't deny that the original video is fucking fierce. if only i can pull off a bowl-cut hir-do like that and gyrate my hips like i'm a sloth and still be attractive.

oh the stuff i esteem to be...

It's going to be my mission to compile a list of FABULOUS FIERCE DANCE/R&B 90s hits.

Do you know what i am talking about? this was like the golden era for that kind of music and i can't believe i took it for granted. i shall recover the treasure songs and put them in my vault.

good tunes like these, bb:


(don't let go - en vogue)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNbRMG-4wAI
(another night - the real mccoy)


(please don't go - no mercy)


(be my lover - la bouche)

which ones do you guys recommend?

So what is up with all these books being turned into movies?

i know, i know, this isn't a novel thing (ha ha) but it seems to be getting out of hand as of late, no? What brought this on was finding out that Beastly is going to be made into a movie.

that doesn't shock me... what does is that vanessa hudgens is being cast as the "belle" of the movie. i don't mean that quotation to imply that bbv is of the polarizing end of the beauty spectrum but that the character that is the love interest of The Beast is described as plain, red-headed, with green eyes, and crooked teeth.

with this in mind, let's look at who they cast as Linda again:



this convinces me that i can land a job as a casting agent if some fool that casts bbv as a plain redhead can.

so i must be the only one that doesn't give a damn that such "awesome" shows like arrested development, firefly, pushing daisies, reno 911 etc got canned.

probably because i never gave a shit about them in the first place. you want to know why they couldn't survive more than a nanosecond in the media world? because of people like me.

i like to consider myself to like ~intellectual~ humor that gets my panties in a twist (in a good way) and i had such high expectations for all of these but i just couldn't get into them. i mean, i got into twilight for goddsakes! how am i a snob?

but i digress.

today was my last day as a TARGET employee. I got my last paycheck and the rest of my life spent there in the form of cold hard cash. i had twenties and ones that added up to over two-hundred dollars in a white envelope. yes, i felt a bit like a hooker. a good one at it.

i'll be starting at California Pizza Kitchen now. first as a pantry chef... but that's only for a month (seriously) so i can learn the ~menu~ and then i'll become a server.... is that weird?

yes.

I don't get the hype about twitter.

And I am actually posting at Portkey.org. What, what? Join me!

I am predictably going through a HP phase that seems to be unrequited.

It's like I am extremely rusty at shipping H/Hr and I don't remember how to FANGIRL as well anymore. Like... where is that site that made fun of HBP/H/G? The one with the collection of horribly good quotes like the maggot scene? Classic, I hope it isn't gone.

Also, I'm looking for fic but there isn't any that draw me in like they used to. Actually, no book has done that lately either. am i going through the motions? Possibly.

As for my reaction towards HBP: the movie? I enjoyed it way better than the book. Probably because they muted Ginny's Mary-Sueness and tried so hard to not make their relationship be the exact replica of the book. For example, did they even go out in the movie? It was sans-Monster-In-The-Chest and Big Kiss in the Common Room... where those scenes just in my mind, did I imagine they happened in the book?

It was so long ago...

what the fuck have i gotten myself into?

ETA: initially this was about my internship at a private law firm that deals with criminal (penal) law but now it's how i bought miley cyrus' autobiography.

this is what happens when it's 1 am and I am writing my last fucking essay.

i want to read miley cyrus' autobiography.

there. i said it.

I wrote this little drabble after being ~inspired~ by the Taylor Swift video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfdxeymNwjU&feature=player_embedded

It came out totally unrelated. But the theme is teenagers, their awkwardness, and trying to initiate something between someone they've had their eye on. I call this original piece:

Title: Closer
Author: idealfacade
Summary: As soon as she opens his mouth he's set down this spiral of awkward teenage wasteland.

( It’s a simple reply and she doesn’t pretend to act surprised. She merely quirks her head to the side and licks her bottom lip ever-so slightly. “How long have you been debating on that answer?” He slips out a chuckle. “There was never any internal monologue about this.” A blatant lie. )

Hi, my name is Sandra and I'm addicted to Bravo.

I am honestly this close to buying that Real Housewives merchandise only because Bravo has brainwashed me into watching all of its shows. This season's ticket? The Real Housewives of New York City.

Can we just have a general bitchfest about it?

I looooooooooooooooathe Kelley. Everytime she's on I get like this second-hand embarrassment spasm along my spine. If you thought Sarah Jessica Parker looked like a horse, well Kelley clearly takes that one HANDS-DOWN.

What amuses me is that my favorite though-wonky-michael-jacksony-eyed Bethenny hates this skank too. It just fuels my inner bitch when I see them at it and I can't wait for the next episode in which the gloves are off.

Also, like the OC Housewife Tamra says:

I just don't understand Kelly. She is a model that hates trying on clothes? She is a journalist that can't seem to enunciate? She is a very private person that signs on to a reality show? Something here is not adding up.



PS: I must be part of the very few that like when Alex&Simon are on the show. Probably because I can't get over how weird they are...



PPS: OMG, THIS JUST MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH KELLEY OUT. SHE MAKES BETHENNY WAIT 30 MIN JUST TO TELL HER THAT THEY AREN'T FRIENDS. WTF BITCH!

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/videos/kelly-and-bethenny-have-it-out

GOSH.

i am honestly puzzled as to how i was ever attracted to this speciman on the superficial, physical side.

i remember people telling me that i would ~regret~ loving nsync and all that shit. but i am 19, going on 20, and i have no shame in declaring my unfaltering loyalty to them.

so it is now bemusing that i feel second-hand embarrassment every time i come across le hobbit of horrible scruff: D-Rad.

how, i ask, how did my heart ever pulse for you?

ETA: also, how is it that you can still attract women even after your "hawt" peak of Prisoner of Azkaban? HOW? is it denial or have my standards raised?

at least you provide the lulz and a brief reprieve from the ~federalist papers~. uhg.

ok, i confess that i am currently digging this song by taylor swift:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxdrgYy_SE8

but as i keep listening, i'm convinced taylor swift does not dig literature or is getting a very poor grade as far as that goes.

for those unfamiliar, she basically compares herself and her love interest to, surprise of surprises, ~romeo and juliet~.

except girl grew up in the "choose your own adventure" generation that the conclusion of the song is that romeo and juliet are getting married and it's happily ever after. which is contrary to the original source because how can you confuse a tragedy with happy endings?

well, i gave tay swift the benefit of the doubt, thinking, maybe her song cuts off before the suicides... BUT! there was this:

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter



so you're an adultress??? WTF! I CAN'T EVEN JUSTIFY HER!

juliet, an italian, renaissance teen =/= woman in puritan massachusetts

aiiiii. at least she's promoting reading?

stole this from pseudovirus. let's see how i do...

( Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% innocent. )

Did anyone watch the Duggar Wedding?

Ok, what the fuck was that shit? "Sex is like LEGOS!!!"

Do you see what's wrong there? He didn't specify what version of legos it was... the harry potter one or dinosaurs or...

Point is, why the fuck am I having such a tough time with my multiculturalism essay? How hard can it be? It's so fucking broad!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

This is me procrastinating. Badly.

In this familiar process, I watched the new season of Skins. And Naomi reminds me of a lizard. Like I get she is supposed to be bad-ass, but they could have gotten someone less pointy? Yeah, i know I'm being ~shallow~ and shit but i never claimed to be otherwise.

And Cook, can anyone understand what the hell he said? I always criticized channels having subtitles on people with Scottish accents, but goddam if that actor didn't speak as if his mouth wasn't covered with tar. Which is hard to imagine because he looks toothless... speaking of which, how the hell am i supposed to buy the whole he's the alpha-male-be-attracted-to-him if he appears like a regular bum with connections?

These questions I ponder.

I know, I know.

There is no need to slaughter me with verbal abuse and accusations of neglect. I know I'm at fault for it. And I'm not one to point fingers or anything but it was my mom's fault.

In an astonishing other shiesty move from my human creator, she decided to haggle prices for out modern comforts (phone, tv, internet) and she made our family switch companies. In this process I was deprived internet for a week straight and it was agonizing, you guys.

Nevermind that I am behind my homework, but I am behind all the gossip on OHNOTHEYDIDNT. How can you guys forgive me? How can I forgive myself???

This is the question of the day, folks.